Topic 5: Lesbian and Bisexual Women & The Victimization of Women {by 10/25}

Chapters 13 and 14 – “Lesbian and Bisexual Women” and “The Victimization of Women” is due this week.  Address the following  discussion points:  (1) What did you find most interesting in Chapter 13 about the “uniqueness” of lesbian and bisexual women within the context of gender? (2) What did you find most interesting in Chapter 14 about the variety of ways women have been victimized?  Do you think improvements are presently being made?  Explain your answers.  Your original post should be posted by 10/25.  Have your two replies no later than 10/27.  *Please remember to click the “reply” button when posting a reply.  This makes it easier for the reader to follow the blog postings.

Advertisements

47 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Anna Kenny
    Oct 23, 2012 @ 15:15:20

    The first thing that stood out to me in chapter 13 was the concept of “Boston Marriages”. This term refers to lesbian relationships that are romantic but are asexual. I have never really considered people being in a romantic relationship without being sexually active together as a couple. It seems strange to me, especially because the book stated that many couples in these boston marriages were sexual with each other in the past but the stopped. The book did not mention any gay men having these types of relationships so I assumed it was unique to lesbians which is very. It also ties into the facts that gay men are more sexual with their partners than lesbian couples. It seems that lesbian relationships have a much stronger emphasis on emotional needs which ties into the stereotypical notion that women are more openly expressive in regards to emotions.
    Another thing I found interesting was the finding that identical twins have a much greater chance of them both being homosexual opposed to fraternal twins. This fascinated me because last weekend at my friends Halloween party I actually met two homosexual identical twin brothers. I was thinking this was such a strange coincidence since I just assumed that the chances of two twins being gay was slim! It was interesting to read that there is actually a 48% concordance rate for identical twins both being gay.
    In chapter 14 on The Victimization of Women I was shocked to see the percentage of rapes that are not reported. I had assumed that rape was underreported but I had no idea the extent to which victims do not come forward. It was also really disturbing to read that 28% of college students (female) had experienced rape by the legal definition. (I read that stat to one of my roommates who was also shocked to hear that). I believe one reason for this could be alcohol and drug consumption that occurs within a college campus. Many victims may feel that they put themselves in that situation if they were under the influence, therefore they may feel that they are the ones to blame. Apparently this is quite common, and called self blame. It is sad to think that women blame themselves for being raped or attacked and thinking it was something they actually brought on by their behavior.
    Another unnerving topic addressed in this chapter is marital rape. I don’t think this is something that many people acknowledge or are even aware of; I know I wasn’t until I read this chapter. The book states that a study found that 12% of married women in San Francisco reported experiencing marital rape. This is obviously not a characteristic of a healthy marriage and I wasn’t surprised to read about the connection between marital rape and domestic violence.
    While reading about how rape can be common in times of “social disorganization” I immediately thought of Hurricane Katrina. I was only a freshman in high school at the time but I remember seeing on the news all of the people in the Louisiana Superdome. Apparently there was innumerable assaults and rapes during this time of chaos and social disorganization.
    I think there is still much needed improvement regarding the victimization of women. I personally feel as if pop culture and the media downplays the severity of rape. I know that some comedians joke about it and it is not uncommon for professional athletes to be accused of rape, and no one really seems to pay much attention. I think if our media helped portray how seriously damaging and scarring rape is, it would be taken more seriously and more people would be reporting incidences of rape instead of blaming themselves.

    Reply

    • Morgan Long
      Oct 24, 2012 @ 19:30:16

      I was also surprised by “boston marriages.” This also ties into the fact that lesbians tend to have the same partner for a very long time whereas gay men tend to have multiple partners. Maybe women are more comfortable staying with someone for a really long time as long as their emotional needs are met. I was a little confused about how a couple could be romantic but not sexual. Also, I don’t understand how a couple could begin their relationship as a sexual one and then just stop having sex.
      I also found it sad that women blame themselves for being raped. It doesn’t matter what you wear or how you act, no women is ever “asking for it.” But the chapter states that a lot of women do feel that way. That could potentially be a reason that some women don’t report being raped. If they responsible for what happened to them, they may not feel the need to involve the police. Or, they could just be embarassed about the situation and not want to talk about it.

      Reply

    • Kathy Wilbur
      Oct 24, 2012 @ 21:44:11

      Anna, I think you are absolutely right about the downplaying of these issues in pop culture and the media. After all, isn’t Chris Brown still winning Grammy’s after his brutal beating of Rihanna? I think our society is too quick to forgive celebrities for their treatment of women, and it sets a poor example for everyone.

      Reply

      • Anna Kenny
        Oct 26, 2012 @ 14:06:13

        Chris Brown is a really good example of this. This is sort of off topic, but it ties into the discussion, it seems as if women are stigmatized more for this type of behavior opposed to men. (at least in media portrayal) I have recently been seeing on the news a story in which a woman (in her twenties) is having a relationship with one of her underage male students. It seems as if this story is being publicized so much because of the fact that she is a women. If the genders were reversed it would not be made into such a big deal. I feel as if our culture has desensitized us to violence against women.

        Reply

      • Gianna Paolini
        Oct 28, 2012 @ 10:07:09

        I agree with this I feel like if your famous nothing matters. This is also dangerous because it makes girls think that if they are abused it is their fault.

        Reply

    • Avnee Patel
      Oct 24, 2012 @ 21:53:39

      I also wasn’t aware that marital rape until I read the chapter. I think that many women who are raped by their husbands are most likely abused either verbally or sexually. I think many women stay in an abusive relationship because they are afraid of leaving and what their husbands might do. I also agree with you on how media downplays the severity of rape. I think that many men commit this sort of crime because they feel empowered and some are not punished enough for the crime they have committed.

      Reply

    • Morgan McCallum
      Oct 26, 2012 @ 17:18:40

      Hey, Anna, I really like what you had to say!
      I think it is interesting, and quite frankly, sad, at the overwhelming number of of unreported rapes; these actual rapes are only being looked at as statistics, and we must remember that these statistics mean that there are girls out there who have not received proper care (therapy, etc.), and also importantly, there are rapists that are still out there that can reharm the victim, and/or have the opportunity to assault another female. Very sad stuff. I also remember hearing about the prevalence of assaults and violence during Katrina. I think during some “social disorganization” events, we are made aware of rape and violence, because it is correlated with an impinging event; but what happens when there isn’t an impinging event, and there is no media bringing attention to it; does that mean it isn’t happening? Of course not. I think sometimes we’re ignorant to what’s going on until the media forces us to pay attention. Education is key with this type of assault; we have to educate ourselves. For example: My peace studies class is going to talk about the prevalence of women being raped in the Congo, which has been called “rape capital of the world.” I have never heard of this being mentioned in the news, so I have to educate myself about it now that I know it’s happening. If I hadn’t heard about it in class, I would have stayed ignorant. I think the media should be talking about this, but I honestly don’t know how they should go about it.
      I know rape isn’t mentioned much in the media, and I’m guessing that’s because it’s a sensitive subject, and they don’t want to release confidential information about the assaulted female. I do think they usually show a sketch of the rapist though, and they give a good description, which is important. I think it’s tough in rape cases involving high-profile people because usually these high-profiled men are 1) being accused and are innocent, and their reputation is tarnished or 2) they did assault someone, yet have money to higher good lawyers, etc. I think it’s also really sad, and tough, because high-profile men have been accused of rape from females who intentionally say they were assaulted (when it was latter found they were not), for attention, and money.

      Reply

  2. Avnee Patel
    Oct 23, 2012 @ 19:38:47

    In chapter 13, I found it unique that lesbian mothers can lose custody of children they had when heterosexually married. I don’t think the mother should be denied her kids just because of her sexual orientation. I wonder if the same would be true for gay fathers loosing custody of children they had in a heterosexual marriage. Would the assumption be the same that a gay father would do a terrible job raising the children? I don’t think your sexual orientation has anything to do with you being raised by homosexual parents.
    In chapter 14, I found the topic of sexual harassment in education interesting. I think that women are at a higher risk of being sexual harassed by male professors/teachers. I agree with the book in which female students who are harassed by male professors are not likely to say anything because the professor holds the power of their grades in his hands. I also think women tend to be afraid of what is going to happen after they tell someone they are getting sexually harassed. I also think that there is a decent number of sexual harassment which is unreported to the police. Some women don’t report that they are sexually harassed because they don’t want to bring attention upon themselves. I do think there are improvements being made to stop sexual harassment but I feel that more women should stand up against it and say something if they are harassed. I found it interesting how if a male teacher/professor has a relationship with a female student and gets caught there are more repercussions for his actions. Society views him as a disgusting person. However, if a female teacher/professor has a relationship with a male student there are not as much repercussions for her actions. I feel that other male students view it as a good thing that a student hooked up with a professor.

    Reply

    • Alyssa DelMonaco
      Oct 24, 2012 @ 22:24:59

      I agree with you in that sexual orientation should not be a problem with parenting. It should not matter which gender you prefer. If you are a good mother or father, you should be able to have custody of your kids and be able to raise them how you want. I think it is wrong that someone can tell you that you cannot have custody of your kids just because you are a lesbian. This just does not seem right.

      Reply

    • Joshua Henry
      Oct 30, 2012 @ 12:25:40

      I strongly feel as if the harassment of female students by professors is an issue that often occurs but is never really talked about. I feel as if this part of the chapter really touched on an area of women victimization that is rarely often talked about in a social context. Part of me believes that this issue is a result of how women are portrayed in our media. Often times we find women using their sex as a way to warrant the type of responses from men and this stigma is partially responsible for the way certain women a re portrayed. Male professors are sometimes unfortunate enough to actually believe that what they see on a television is nothing but a small representation of women as a whole.

      Reply

  3. Nicole Boris
    Oct 23, 2012 @ 20:36:32

    What I found to be most interesting in chapter 13 about the “uniqueness” of lesbian and bisexual women is the fact that in some states same sex couples cannot adopt and if there were a divorce the children would go to the parent that is not with someone of the same sex. This does not seem fair to me because what does it matter if a same sex couple adopts? Statistics show that most children that grow up with same sex parents are heterosexual. Just because they are gay or lesbian does not mean that they are going to be bad parents. Also in a divorce the parents that aren’t in a relationshop with someone of the same sex gets the children. This seems strange to me because once again just because an individual is gay or lesbian does not mean that they are going to be bad parents.

    What I found to be most interesting in chapter 14 about the variety of ways women have been victimized is the section on marital rape. This section title caught my eye because when one thinks of rape you think of it happening in a club or something of that nature by a random man. Marital rape is not as violent as actual rape but it is still rape because husbands are forcing their wives to be part of some sex that she does not want to be a part of. This whole concept was just very new to me. Overall there are drastic improvements compared to many years ago when it comes to the victimization of women. Now women can feel much more comfortable coming forward if they have been raped or are experiencign some form a sexual harassement. Individuals are now much more understanding of teh fact that mistakes happen so there is no reason to make a woman feel bad if she had been raped.

    Reply

  4. Gina Holick
    Oct 24, 2012 @ 14:02:43

    While I was reading the chapter on lesbian and bisexual women, I learned something new. I never knew that Latina lesbianism was restricted. People have established certain attitudes in their culture that do not occur in Euro-American culture. The Latina lesbians can still have a physical and close attachment with the women, however, they have to keep it a secret that they have relationships with other women. The Latina culture in general is very close-knit in the fact that they are very close with the family, including parents, brothers and sisters. The Latina lesbians have to resort to living in Euro-American communities as opposed to their own because it is more socially acceptable for them to have the relationships with women. I feel so bad that they have to resort to such a thing, but I know they would not want to dissapoint the parents and/or family. A cuban woman responded by saying that she identifies herself more as a lesbian than a Cuban/Latin. She feels that she is both lesbian and Cuban/Latin, though she does not want to have to choose.

    The chapter on vicitimization of women was very interesting to me. I have such empathy for the people who are victims of rape, domestic violence etc. It is awful to read about, yet it also educates you on how to stop it from happening if you ever hear of it occuring. I do know a couple people who have been raped, one girl in particular was in high school at a party. She had been drugged so she did not know what was happening. I do not know of anyone who has been part of a domestic violence, though have so much empathy. I found it interesting to read about marital rape because it reminded me of the movie with Tina Turner and her husband Ike called “Ike and Tina.” They were a married couple and he would physically abuse her and forefully rape her. I thought that the percentage of marital rape in other studies was particularly high for marriage, which was between 7 and 14%.
    I also thought it was interesting to learn about how domestic violence has an impact on the children. It makes me think of Christina Aguilera (I am a fan of hers) I know that when she was younger she lived with her parents and her dad physically and verbally abused her mother. It says in the text that the father will most likely abuse the child or children as well. I have read up on her bio, and know that she was deepy affected by this in her life. She had never forgave her dad for what he did to her and the mother. It is very unfortunate that this cycle of abuse repeats for the child or children when they look for a partner. They are most likely to find someone who is abusive as well. The chapter also gives possible explanations of what causes the battering of women. I thought this was interesting as well. The three explanations that the text gives is that the man is hence a psychopath, the women has a certain psychopathology herself, and also Lenore Walker’s theory of learned helplessness. This theory states that the woman has a history of childhood gender role socialization to passivity and helplessness. When the woman is battered in adulthood, this will increase her helplessness.

    I feel like improvements are being made gradually through out the years. Though, the statistics for the rape that goes unreported is quite scary. I believe that people can only be made aware of the rape and date rape if they tell a friend, family member, or a teacher. As for domestic violence, sometimes you can see the impact that it will have on the victim such as not seeing them as often (because the partner is very controlling), seeing the physical bruses on the person, hearing stories from other people that make you want to question that person, etc. It can be very hard to tell at times if there are not any physical bruses. There are definite programs for the victims of domestic violence that helps them to talk out loud with their feelings, essentially it is “talk therapy” This will help for the PTSD as well… I still believe that most of these cases go unnoticed and it may be too late when we do find out …

    Reply

    • Eddaliz Correa
      Oct 24, 2012 @ 19:25:01

      I agree about the victimization on women because many times they will keep it a secret and hide the bruises. When they are asked who gave them the bruises they make up lies to hide the truth. They are also so psychologically damaged by the men who are abusing them that when asked if it is their partner they will do everything possible to make him sound like a good guy. “He only hits me when he is mad, he really loves me, he has no one else, he can change”. They give a long list and if you are their friend or anyone you should talk them into getting help instead of believing them and letting them keep getting beat.

      Reply

    • Morgan Long
      Oct 24, 2012 @ 19:42:15

      I also didn’t realize the effect being a lesbain had on women that are other ethnicities and part of a different culture before reading this chapter.Essentially its just another obstacle they have to overcome or deal with in their day to day lives. Having certain cultural expectations could lead women to selectively coming out. In a way, they would have to live two seperate wives. You mentioned the example of the Latina women who felt that she didn’t want to have to choose between her culture and her sexual orientation.
      I didn’t know that Christina Augilara’s father abused her and her mother. Thats awful. It is scary for me to think about children living in a home with abusive parents. What is even more scary is that children who are abused are more likely to become abusers themselves. It turns into a cycle of abuse.

      Reply

    • Chris Bozarjian
      Oct 24, 2012 @ 20:49:43

      I found the christian aguilera thing you said interesting because I remember hearing some of her songs when I was younger about her dad. I think that its sad that someone who has been abused will most likely find/look for a partner who is abusive.

      Reply

    • Nicole Boris
      Oct 24, 2012 @ 21:30:03

      I was also surprised to learn that Latina lesbianism was restricted. I can understand if it was frowned upon or not looked highly upon but to have it completely restricted seems over the top. To restrict who individuals can love just does not seem fair to me.

      Reply

      • Anna Kenny
        Oct 26, 2012 @ 14:12:21

        I also did not know this before reading the chapter, but I am not surprised that a culture would restrict this, especially one that holds strong traditions and family ties. I was wondering if it was the same for gay men in their culture? It’s sad that people have to keep such a huge secret hidden like that.

        Reply

    • Avnee Patel
      Oct 24, 2012 @ 21:54:26

      I also agree and think that children are impacted by domestic violence. I feel that children know from the beginning when their mother is being abused by their father. Some children want to confront their father but are afraid to. I like how you mentioned Christina Aguilera whose mother was physically and verbally abused which impacted her life as she was growing up. I think young girls whose mothers are abused by their fathers gives the wrong impression on men as they get older. As for young boys whose mothers were abused, it will make them more protective as they get older when a male figure enters their mother’s life. Being in a domestic relationship does affect the children emotionally and psychologically.

      Reply

    • Kathy Wilbur
      Oct 24, 2012 @ 22:01:09

      Gina, I agree completely that the number of unreported rapes is a scary and unfortunate thing. I also think that in relation to this, the number of rape kits that are never further investigated is quite disheartening, as well. I wonder what could be done to help these kinds of problems diminish.

      Reply

    • Alyssa DelMonaco
      Oct 24, 2012 @ 22:29:19

      I also thought it was interesting that Latina lesbianism was restricted. It is sad that they must live in a different community in order to feel accepted and to be themselves. It shows how much culture can play a role in someone’s identity. I think it is sad that some women feel that they have to choose between their culture or their sexual orientation.

      Reply

      • Gianna Paolini
        Oct 28, 2012 @ 10:09:10

        I agree I would not want to live in a culture where I am not accepted or judged everywhere I go but I feel that this happens everywhere and we need to do a better job of making it happen less and accepting everyone

        Reply

    • Nicole Gaviola
      Oct 26, 2012 @ 13:59:17

      I feel it is so sad for people who cannot be around their families and friends because of their sexual orientation. Latino cultures and families are known for being extremely close knit with one another and it is not socially acceptable for women to be in lesbian relationships for it could reflect the family poorly. In our society, sexual orientation has become a way of defining who a person is. I feel the example of the Cuban woman is indicative of how many people feel about their sexual orientation. No one wants to choose between who they happen to fall in love with and their families, and for most homosexual relationships, that’s what happens. Many lesbian women are cast out of their homes and families just because of who they love. If only people could let other people just live their lives. I wish people could accept that who a person loves does not affect anyone else and judging them only causes hate and anger.

      Reply

  5. Taylor Foley
    Oct 24, 2012 @ 15:30:11

    What I found most interesting about chapter 13 is the different laws in some states about lesbians. The fact that same sex couples are not allowed to adopt is beyond me. Studies show that kids raised by same sex parents do not grow up to be gay or lesbians. I think that is morally wrong and same sex parents should be allowed to have children because they physical cant produce children it is not fair that they arent allowed to raise a child. Their ways of life and thought processes could never harm a child they could still be loving and nurturing parents just like a couple of opposite sexes.
    In chapter 14 I found that woman do get sexually harrased and was not surprised by this. I work at a resteraunt where the owner purposely will hire more girls then guys because it is likely to bring in more business. Yes i completely agree this is wrong and discriminatory but at the same time why does it work? It is a problem in todays society that jobs such as waitressing really do rely on your looks as a woman. You are more likely to bring in more money for the company when you are attractive. This disgusts me as a young woman because we should be hired based on our intelligence and personality not our sex appeal.

    Reply

    • Eddaliz Correa
      Oct 24, 2012 @ 19:20:39

      I also agree that it is not fair for the government and society to believe that children growing up with same sex parents will turn out to be gay as well. I have friends whose parents are of the same sex and they never come out to be homosexuals and are as normal as my other peers. Many times couples of the same sex who are looking to adopt are actually better with raising children because they want it more and are not able to become pregnant as easily because they are of the same sex of course. I have watched shows on this on television and they are just great people who want to have their own family and they help society because they are giving these children a home and a loving family.

      Reply

    • Meghan Surette
      Oct 24, 2012 @ 21:33:16

      I agree that it is incredibly judgemental and wrong to not allow people, of the same human race, to be denied children because of their sexuality. As we discussed in class, there is no pyschological difference between children raised in lesbian and gay homes and the homes of straight parents. Do the policy makers of the government only recognize the studies they feel like? There is certainly more than one study exemplifying this, so it just doesn’t seem logical for us to simply ignore the ones we have prejudices toward. Lesbian, gay, bisexual, or heterosexual, we are all capable of love as humans. It is so wrong to me to deny certain groups the love of a child.

      Reply

  6. Emily Stewart
    Oct 24, 2012 @ 18:13:02

    What I found most interesting was when they stated that children that grew up having lesbian parents, turned out just the same as children with heterosexual. Also, that the children are more likely going to be straight and not homosexual. I had always assumed that since the children were brought up in a gay environment, they would behave and grow up to be just like their parents. The uniqueness of lesbian and bisexual women within the context of gender that I find most interesting is that statistics show that men with a male partner have sex more frequently than women with a female partner. I just do not understand how this is a fact because it all depends on the couple. Some lesbian couples may be more sexually active than others, therefore who is to say what gender has sex more frequently?

    What I find most interesting in chapter 14 was the high percentage of women reported to have been a victimized by men who used the date rape drug. I did not think that it was more than 40 percent because it does not seem to ever be reported. I know that a few of my friends have thought they have been “roofied,” but they never did anything about it or told any authorities. Usually they do not remember anything about the night, but they assume nothing had happened. Also, it baffles me to know women have been raped by their husbands, which is called marital rape. Yes, I do think improvements are presently being made. I have been to a few assemblies at Assumption that talked about rape and the severities of the date rape drug. Also, a few psychology courses I have taken throughout college have talked about the drug in the books that were assigned. For my marketing project this semester, my group had to come up with a product to sell, and target market a certain group. We made up a safety kit that target markets freshmen college girls and in the kit is a drink tester so girls can test their drinks if they are feeling unsure about it.

    Reply

    • Gina Holick
      Oct 25, 2012 @ 11:52:47

      I also found myself thinking that if lesbian parents raised children in the house, the children may or may not turn out just like the parents? I feel like it would have some sort of an effect on them, but I guess it does not.

      I also found it interesting that gay men have more sexual partners than straight men and women. I agree that every couple is different, so I wonder how they even get the stats saying that gay men have more sexual partners than heterosexual men and women.

      Reply

    • Nicole Gaviola
      Oct 26, 2012 @ 14:04:24

      It is sad and baffling to seeing how prevalent marital rape is in our society. Why do people get married in the first place if there is domestic abuse involved? I think women need to be more educated on the psychological long term effects of dating an abusive partner. A lot of times when women enter into an abusive marriage, they are already aware of their partner’s abusive tendencies. Whatever their reason is for staying, it is possible to get help and get out and I wish this information was more obvious. Although there are several resources and therapies for abused women, women need to be educated on how to prevent from being in a relationship where marital rape could occur and learning how to stay away from partners that abuse them.

      Reply

    • Morgan McCallum
      Oct 26, 2012 @ 17:34:26

      Hey, Emily, I really like what you had to say! I think rape that occurs when a female has been roofied and/or is under the influence of alcohol is so terrible, and difficult; in some instances the females wake up knowing they have been assaulted, but some wake up uncertain. Is there anything currently out there to test drinks? I think it would be really beneficial if they sold these kits for an affordable price, at accessible places (Target, CVS) because I think a lot of girls would use it. What a great idea!

      Reply

  7. Morgan Long
    Oct 24, 2012 @ 19:10:27

    In chapter 13 I found it interesting that lesbians could potentially loose custody of their children if they were previously married to a man. Also, lesbian couples could be denied adoption. This is very surprising to me. A person’s sexual orientation doesn’t have anything to do with how they will act as a parent. You could argue that there are lesbians who would be better mothers than some heterosexual women.
    Also, the chapter states that there is no evidence to say that a child with gay parents will not develop as well as a child with heterosexual parents. As far as adoption goes, there are so many children that need a good home and parents that will love them no matter what their sexual orientation. I think that is absurd to deny gay couples adoption.
    In chapter 14 I found it interesting that there is even marital rape. I guess I never thought of a husband raping his wife. After I thought about it though I realized that there are many marriages that abusive. Rape is just one type of absuse that had not crossed my mind before. What is very surprising to me though is the statement: “the husband cannot be guilty of a rape committed by himself upon his lawful wife, for by their mutual matrimonial consent and a contract the wife hath given up herself in this kind unto her husband which she cannot retract.” This is wrong on so many levels. The word “no” does not change just because two people are married. Plus, a marriage isn’t a woman giving herself up to her husband.
    I think that improvements are being made because more people are aware of homosexual relationships and the victimization of women. In this generation, homosexuality is a lot more accepted than it ever used to be. Many people don’t even think twice about it. As for the victimization of women, there are classes that they can take so they can learn to defend themselves. Colleges are making their students more aware of the situation meaning there are classes on how to not be a bistander, self defense classes, and rape seminars.

    Reply

    • Chris Bozarjian
      Oct 24, 2012 @ 20:35:54

      I also found that to be really interesting in chapter 13 that lesbians could potentially lose custody of their child. I agree that someones sexual orientation has nothing to do with a way they could raise a child. Its discriminating homosexual couples, when it really has nothing to do with how they are as people or parents. I don’t see how that factor could be the difference of how well developed a child is.

      Reply

    • Nicole Boris
      Oct 24, 2012 @ 21:34:01

      I also found it interesting that lesbians can lose custody of their children if they were previously married to a man. Just because the woman is a lesbian does not make her material for a bad mother. The only thing that is “different” about her is that she is attracted to woman that does not make her a bad person or someone not capable of being a mother.

      Reply

  8. Eddaliz Correa
    Oct 24, 2012 @ 19:12:00

    In Chapter 13 I found it interesting that homosexuality was considered a mental disorder. I have heard about this before in other classes but my professors never went into depth about it. After reading this I could understand why they thought that. During the 1970s and before then there were not many people who came out and told others they were lesbians because of the fear of rejection of the community. It went against many religions and family values. Due to this fear and struggle with trying to tell others one is a lesbian it causes lesbians to have stronger suicidal thoughts. They are more likely to be depressed and have more psychological problems that heterosexual women. We do not really think about the progress made for lesbian women. Before today, many women were fired from work if their boss found out they were gay, they were discriminated against and were unable to express themselves or show affection in public to their partners. It also said in this chapter that lesbian women went to seek therapy just as much as heterosexual women; this is another thing we never really think about but now we is a big part of their struggle with being a lesbian. I see how much this new change for lesbian acceptance in the US has made it a lot easier for lesbian and all gay men and women in general.
    In Chapter 14, I found it interesting that studies show women are actually less safe in their own home than on the street. “Research demonstrates that women are more likely to be attacked, raped, injured, or killed by current or former male partners than by any other type of assault” (pg. 293). This was shocking because we would never really think our friends and partners would be ones to attack us first. We put a lot of trust into the men that we are closest to so it is scary to think one of my female friends or family members could be raped by one of our close friends. It is great to see that we have advanced in this country to not allow husbands to beat their wives because in this chapter it shows how life was for women under the control of men during the 16th century and so on. We have come a long way but we still have a long way to go to make sure no woman is ever victimized. It may seem impossible but back then during the 16th century those women probably never thought their husbands beating them was ever going to end either.

    Reply

    • Gina Holick
      Oct 25, 2012 @ 11:59:11

      I feel like I never actually knew all of those problems occurred for lesbian women. It makes my heart break because we are all equal. No one is more superior than another in terms of race, ethnicity and/or whether we are bisexual, heterosexual or homosexual. I feel like most people tend to push these issues aside because that’s the easier thing to do … like when we talked about bullying in our Tuesday class. It is much easier for teachers and students to say “Oh it will all be okay.” In reality, no it won’t be okay.

      Reply

  9. Chris Bozarjian
    Oct 24, 2012 @ 20:02:28

    What I found most interesting about Chapter 13 was the sexual orientation development and fluidity section. I found this to be unique according to gender differences because of fluidity, situation-dependent flexibility in women’s sexual responsiveness. This caught my interest because I didn’t know that women discovered their sexual identity and attractiveness towards another gender depending on the situation and it shifts over time. However in males it is different, they usually know right away. This made sense to me because you can usually tell when a male is gay from an early age, but it is harder to notice homosexual females at an earlier age.

    In chapter 14 the section on marital rape interested me the most about the ways women have been victimized. This caught my attention because it never really thought of rape being possible in a marriage. Its an odd subject and it was interesting to find out that marital rape is a real thing and is found from 7 and 14 percent in the general population. That is a higher percent than I thought it would be, never thought rape happened at all in a marriage, I would think they would be divorced before it got to that point.

    Reply

    • Chris Bozarjian
      Oct 24, 2012 @ 20:10:53

      I also think there are making progress in minimizing women being victimized. I say this because in chapter 14 I read about ways they have been preventing rape. There are 3 categories and I have seen all 3 them of them before personally. There’s actually a self defense program for women at assumption. I also believe the strategy of changing the culture that contributes to rape is in effect. Over the years I feel like the awareness is increasing for preventing women from being raped or harassed.

      Reply

  10. Nichole Ronan
    Oct 24, 2012 @ 21:06:04

    What really stood out to me in chapter 13 was if a lesbian couple gets divorced, they risk the chance of getting their children taken away from them and given to one of the parents of the couple. I had no idea this happened and I think it’s completely wrong. I don’t think the sexual orientation of the parent has anything to do with the quality of their parenting skills. Also, I don’t understand why in some states same sex couples aren’t allowed to adopt. Since they psychically can’t have children on their own they should be allowed to adopt. It’s not fair that they can’t have a family if they want to.

    Before reading chapter 14 I didn’t even know there was such a thing as marital rape. This really interested me because when I think of rape I think of a stranger committing the crime, definitely not a husband. I know there are abusive marriages but usually when I think of those relationships violence or verbal abuse comes to mind. I think improvements have been made in the effort to end the victimization of women since previous years. Women feel more comfortable with telling someone if they’ve been harassed or abused then before. I think this is because people are more willing to help in these situations than they used to be.

    Reply

  11. Meghan Surette
    Oct 24, 2012 @ 21:21:54

    In reading chapter 13, I found this quote incredibly interesting,

    “Lesbian and bisexual women, however, create community as the speculate about which players, coaches, and fans are lesbian, and as they meet and socialize with other lesbian and bisexual woman” (269).

    This comes off as very judgemental to me. This short passage seems to suggest that going to see a WMBA game is a “lesbian” thing to do. Why? I have never percieved basketball as a sport for solely lesbians and bisexuals or a sport that mainly lesbians and bisexuals go to watch. Also, lesbians and bisexuals go to watch these game to make judgements as to who seems the most gay? How can you tell in the midst of a game? Surely, it is hard to look or seem girl in any competitive professional game. What about male sports? Even on our own campus here at Assumption where, as we discussed in class, there seems to be much less acceptance for gay/lesbian lifestyles, the mens sports teams are very close – especially physically. At any football game, lacrosse game, baseball game, and so on, the men athletes are alwas slapping eachothers butts – but this certainly does not project gay stereotypes. If, as the authors tell us, women go to professional womens sporting events to make assumptions about the players and coaches sexuality, wouldn’t it seem natural to do it for professional mens games as well? Unfortunately this is not the case. I think this further illustrates a inequality of men and women and the stereotypes associated with alike behavoir.

    In reading my classmates responses, I was particularly surprised by how man of them had never thought about marital rape. There are so man pyschologically disturbed people out there that it’s I just believe in the plausibility of nearly anything – people are capable of some pretty messy things. I imagine it seems illogical to rape your wife because we associate marriage with such love and happiness and it isn’t logical to marry someone who doesn’t make you happy or that you don’t love. However, it also isn’t logical to stay in a relationship, married or not, with a man who is physically abusive, yet so many women are. The authors draw attention to why women stay with their abusive partners in this chapter as well,

    “hope that the husband will reform, having no other place to go, fear that there will be reprisals from the batterer…concern for children, econmic dependence” (297) and the list goes on.

    The authors also mention that, “the man who batter his wife is also likely to rape her” (288) so it actually isn’t all that surprising when we add up all the factors that rape exists in marriages. I think it is, again, the stereotypes that we associate with the word “marriage” and what it’s supposed to mean that skews our perceptions and perhaps leaves us a bit niave.

    Reply

  12. Kathy Wilbur
    Oct 24, 2012 @ 21:42:33

    1. I found it really interesting that the book pointed out that society as a whole holds more negative attitudes towards gay men than towards lesbian women. This is puzzling to me because the concept they’re opposing is the same, so why do men get the brunt of the animosity? If I told you my opinion on a social level, I think our culture makes it more acceptable for females to have sexual interactions with one another, often deeming it “sexy” in music or pop culture whereas there is no counterpart for the male. I also thought it was important that the book stated that “lesbians are no more likely than heterosexual women to have been heterosexually raped,” (276). I think this is a frequent and insulting stereotype of lesbian women’s pasts that should be eradicated from our views of them. What also puzzled me in this chapter was the statement about African American culture being extremely homophobic. I never realized this and I think it’s a great example of how gender and culture often go so inextricably hand in hand.
    2. What particularly caught my eye in chapter 14 was the section on marital rape and the causes of rape. Under causes of rape, the first reason listed is “victim precipitated,” a fancy term for a blame-the-victim mentality. I think this is especially important and relevant (unfortunately) to our society today, especially with the recent, offensive and incorrect comments from politicians regarding similar views on rape. As far as marital rape goes, I think the fact that there is even such a section in this book is an example of some advancement that has been made in society, as years ago such a type of rape was probably never claimed or talked about. Overall, I do think improvements in the area of the victimization of women are being improved, as there are more and more awareness and support groups and events being created everyday. Only with awareness will the problem be thrust into the spotlight and ended.

    Reply

  13. Alyssa DelMonaco
    Oct 24, 2012 @ 22:17:43

    The most interesting facts I found in Chapter 13 were the differences between lesbians and gay men. I found a lot of these differences to be very interesting. First, it says that lesbians place more emphasis of having an emotional and intimate relationship than gay men do. I thought this was interesting because I would have thought that it would be the other way around. However, I feel like every couple is different and it would not matter on the gender. Secondly, the book says that gay men have more sexual partners than lesbians do. In one study, gay men had 44 different sex partners since the age of 18. I thought this was very surprising, and was curious to see what the number would be like compared to straight men. Next, it says that gay men have sex more than lesbians. I thought this was interesting because how can you really determine that? Again, I feel like every couple is different, and that gender should not really play a role in that. Also, the book said that women tend to be more bisexual than men do. I thought this was interesting because I never knew this. This section stood out to me because I had never really thought about these kinds of things before, so I thought it was interesting to learn about.

    The thing that stood out to me most in Chapter 14 was the impact on the children. When a man batters his wife, not only is the wife impacted, but the children are too. The impact could cause depression, PTSD, anxiety, elevated levels of aggressive behavior, and decreased academic functioning. The book also said that there is “intergenerational transmission of intimate partner violence.” This means that the children are at a greater risk for partner violence to be in their generation too. When children are exposed to their parents’ violence, it triples the chances that they commit violence toward their partner in adulthood or that they are the victim of partner violence in adulthood. This stood out to me the most because I think it is so sad how innocent children can be exposed to this and then have a greater chance for becoming a perpetrator or victim themselves.

    Reply

  14. Gianna Paolini
    Oct 25, 2012 @ 10:22:59

    There were two things that I found interesting in this chapter; I found that grow up with homosexual parents grow up the same as children with heterosexual parents. I mean I am not saying that children with homosexual parents are raised differently, I am saying that I expected them to have different customs at their home and have more teachings about same sex marriages. I also found it interesting that the marry someone of the opposite sex rather than following in their parents footsteps. I find that the nurture verses nature rules should come into affect however it is interesting that they for the most part turn out heterosexual. The second thing that I found interesting is that depending on the gender of the homosexual couple depends on whether you are more sexually active or not I feel that every couple is different and it should not be based on your gender that defines your sex life.

    Also like many other people I found it interesting that women can be victimized even in a marriage. People think that since a couple is married they have a certain commitment and there can be no such thing as one partner being taken advantage of! I also found it interesting what they said about rape and I find it very true. I have seen first hand a couple of cases where women felt like it was their fault that they have been raped. I am an RA and I had to deal with one case where she did not tell me for two weeks because she felt like she would get in trouble. It is a sad but true statistic.

    Reply

  15. Morgan McCallum
    Oct 25, 2012 @ 12:29:15

    Chapters 13 and 14 – “Lesbian and Bisexual Women” and “The Victimization of Women” is due this week. Address the following discussion points: (1) What did you find most interesting in Chapter 13 about the “uniqueness” of lesbian and bisexual women within the context of gender? (2) What did you find most interesting in Chapter 14 about the variety of ways women have been victimized? Do you think improvements are presently being made? Explain your answers. Your original post should be posted by 10/25. Have your two replies no later than 10/27. *Please remember to click the “reply” button when posting a reply. This makes it easier for the reader to follow the blog postings.

    In chapter 13: Lesbian and Bisexual Women, I found the section about lesbian and bisexual women, and their relationships, most interesting. We’ve talked about how it’s normal for men to be the “bread winners,” and make the most money in a heterosexual relationships/marriage. Also, how a woman’s paycheck is usually just a little extra; used for vacation, frivolous things, etc. Basically, that a woman’s paycheck isn’t really essential to getting by. I thought it was interesting to learn how income, housework, and intimacy were distributed in lesbian relationships, and I had always assumed it was much different than that of the heterosexual couple. Research (from the textbook), however, has shown that lesbian relationships, and heterosexual relationships are mostly similar; the quality didn’t differ nor did they differ in labor tasks. Lesbian relationships, did, however, differ in that they were more skilled at working harmoniously together on labor tasks. Further, lesbians tend to strive towards a more egalitarian relationship, and attempt to value an equal balance of power; no dominant, and no inferior, but like heterosexual couples, sometimes the individual with more income and education tends to be more powerful (most likely in decision-making). Lastly, same-gender couples that are in a monogamous relationship tend to be in better health than other lesbian, gay, and bisexual peoples.
    In chapter 14, The Victimization of Women, I found most sections interesting in this chapter. I think the section on preventing rape was most interesting, and some of it I thought was ignorant. The textbook describes three strategies for preventing rape 1) “avoiding situations in which there is a high risk of rape,” (Hyde, 291). There is a high risk of rape almost everywhere! We even learned that it can even happen in one’s own bed; in marital rape. In regards to marital rape, I found the feminist explanation most realistic. It is hard to prophesize why rape and violence happens, but I do believe, as the Feminist Theory suggests, that rape is a male’s expression of the dominance and power over a female, and this can somewhat be explain by the prevalence of gender inequality in America. Continuing with the preventative strategies are 2) if the first strategy has failed, it is advantageous to know self-defense, and lastly 3) we must change the culture that contributes to rape. These 3 strategies were followed by a set of 8 “tips,” that I think are beneficial, and good-to-know, but I also thought some were ignorant, and were telling women what they should/shouldn’t do. We shouldn’t be looking at who gets raped, we should be look at who rapes, meaning a rapist is a rapist no-matter-what, and is fully responsible for his behavior, and in no way does a female’s behavior validate rape. I think it’s so sad that women have to be so cautious these days, and know they can’t do things in fear of being assaulted. I think there has been much done to help those who have been raped get support, open up, and get therapy. I do not, however, think there has been enough done to try and prevent males from assaulting, and also, assaulting-more-than once. These males committing violence over women are seriously disturbed, and have usually been subjected to abuse themselves. The RNR treatment is tricky in getting rapists who go unreported and incarcerated to get treatment. I think this shows how vital it is to provide unwavering support (friends, family, free quality therapy, rehabilitation, female-only shelters, etc.) for females who do report their rape, because by doing so, there is a chance the male can be brought to justice, and incarcerated. Lastly, I believe the incarceration rate NEEDS to be lengthened, and instead of being treated soley as a punishment, and meant for rapists to “learn their lesson;” these men need to get quality education, counseling, medication, and somehow through the jail, they should be working and earning money to afford these treatments. I don’t think these men are deserving of these treatments, and it’s not fair to tax-payers, but we can only hope it will be effective in stopping recidivism, and benefit females who have been affected by rape, and females who are at risk.

    Reply

  16. Morgan McCallum
    Oct 25, 2012 @ 12:29:57

    In chapter 13: Lesbian and Bisexual Women, I found the section about lesbian and bisexual women, and their relationships, most interesting. We’ve talked about how it’s normal for men to be the “bread winners,” and make the most money in a heterosexual relationships/marriage. Also, how a woman’s paycheck is usually just a little extra; used for vacation, frivolous things, etc. Basically, that a woman’s paycheck isn’t really essential to getting by. I thought it was interesting to learn how income, housework, and intimacy were distributed in lesbian relationships, and I had always assumed it was much different than that of the heterosexual couple. Research (from the textbook), however, has shown that lesbian relationships, and heterosexual relationships are mostly similar; the quality didn’t differ nor did they differ in labor tasks. Lesbian relationships, did, however, differ in that they were more skilled at working harmoniously together on labor tasks. Further, lesbians tend to strive towards a more egalitarian relationship, and attempt to value an equal balance of power; no dominant, and no inferior, but like heterosexual couples, sometimes the individual with more income and education tends to be more powerful (most likely in decision-making). Lastly, same-gender couples that are in a monogamous relationship tend to be in better health than other lesbian, gay, and bisexual peoples.
    In chapter 14, The Victimization of Women, I found most sections interesting in this chapter. I think the section on preventing rape was most interesting, and some of it I thought was ignorant. The textbook describes three strategies for preventing rape 1) “avoiding situations in which there is a high risk of rape,” (Hyde, 291). There is a high risk of rape almost everywhere! We even learned that it can even happen in one’s own bed; in marital rape. In regards to marital rape, I found the feminist explanation most realistic. It is hard to prophesize why rape and violence happens, but I do believe, as the Feminist Theory suggests, that rape is a male’s expression of the dominance and power over a female, and this can somewhat be explain by the prevalence of gender inequality in America. Continuing with the preventative strategies are 2) if the first strategy has failed, it is advantageous to know self-defense, and lastly 3) we must change the culture that contributes to rape. These 3 strategies were followed by a set of 8 “tips,” that I think are beneficial, and good-to-know, but I also thought some were ignorant, and were telling women what they should/shouldn’t do. We shouldn’t be looking at who gets raped, we should be look at who rapes, meaning a rapist is a rapist no-matter-what, and is fully responsible for his behavior, and in no way does a female’s behavior validate rape. I think it’s so sad that women have to be so cautious these days, and know they can’t do things in fear of being assaulted. I think there has been much done to help those who have been raped get support, open up, and get therapy. I do not, however, think there has been enough done to try and prevent males from assaulting, and also, assaulting-more-than once. These males committing violence over women are seriously disturbed, and have usually been subjected to abuse themselves. The RNR treatment is tricky in getting rapists who go unreported and incarcerated to get treatment. I think this shows how vital it is to provide unwavering support (friends, family, free quality therapy, rehabilitation, female-only shelters, etc.) for females who do report their rape, because by doing so, there is a chance the male can be brought to justice, and incarcerated. Lastly, I believe the incarceration rate NEEDS to be longer, and instead of being treated soley as a punishment, and meant to “learn a lesson,” these men need to get quality education, counseling, medication, and somehow through the jail, they should be working and earning money to afford these treatments. I don’t think these men are deserving of these treatments, and it’s not fair to tax-payers, but we can only hope it will be effective in stopping recidivism, and benefit females.

    Reply

  17. Joshua Henry
    Oct 25, 2012 @ 12:31:00

    While reading chapter 13 i found it rather interesting that statistics show that lesbian women who raise children are no more likely to raise children who will become homosexual than those of their heterosexual counterparts. Usually the stigma is that homosexual couples are bad parents and that their choice of lifestyle will eventually influence a child’s life just simply isn’t true. I personally dont think it is up to people to decide weither or not someone can raise a child efficiently if their past says nothing that would prove otherwise.

    As I was reading chapter 14, i found the topic of unreported rapes interesting. Most rapes go unreported among colleges and even marriages. I believe that this is a result of the constant overplay of sexuality in women inside of the media. It portrays women as sex items rather than individuals. The repetitive negative projection of how women should be seen causes males to act according to the images they are often used to seeing. In regards to advancement in this area i believe some strides have been in our society and media outlets but not enough to ease the progression of victimization of women.

    Reply

  18. Nicole Gaviola
    Oct 25, 2012 @ 12:33:32

    What I found most interesting about the uniqueness of lesbian and bisexual women within the context of gender was that lesbian mothers can lose custody of children they had when heterosexually married, and being a lesbian may be grounds for being denied adoption. I believe it’s unfair to question a woman’s ability to raise children because of her sexual orientation. Raising children and sexual orientation are two separate things. Would being gay make a parent love their child any less? There is a stigma deeply engrained within our society that equates homosexuality with being bad. A person’s sexual orientation should not be the defining factor of who a person is or what they can do. There has been research done that compares children of heterosexual parents with children of lesbian mothers and the evidence shows that children of lesbian mothers develop as well as children reared by heterosexual parents. Although this research exists, there are still people that firmly believe that homosexuality is “sinful” and continue to judge people’s abilities on the basis of their sexual orientation.

    What I found most interesting about the variety of ways women have been victimized were the statistics of rape and abuse against women. A woman has between a 15 and 25 percent chance of being raped over their lifetime as opposed to men who have about a 2 percent chance. Also, a study of national women college students found that 28 percent had experienced an act that met the legal definition of rape. Each year in the United States, approximately 1,600 murders are committed by an intimate, and in three out of four of these cases the victim is the woman. The thought that I have between a 15 and 25 percent chance of being raped over my lifetime is extremely unsettling. It makes me wonder why violence against women specifically is so prevalent in our society. Perhaps it is because women are seen as the submissive and gentler sex and it easier to victimize them. However, that doesn’t explain why hundreds thousands of women are beaten by their intimate partners each year. There is a lot being done to prevent women from rape and victimization such as awareness based programs, empathy based program, skills-based programs and self-defense training that seek to educate people on the risks and potentialities of rape. Also, there are numerous therapy options for battered women and victims of rape. Unfortunately, victims of rape can have lifelong psychological problems. There are also treatment opportunities for rapists and sexual abusers that attempt to keep the abuse from occurring again.

    Reply

  19. Mallory Ozycz
    Oct 26, 2012 @ 14:41:07

    What I found most interesting about Chapter13 is that homosexuality used to be seen as a mental disorder. It was upsetting to read that compared to heterosexual women, lesbians are more likely to have suicidal thought, to have more attempted suicides and to have used psychotherapy. After looking more into research it makes more sense know that they are going through more stress with the pressure of “coming out” or living life know the social pressures of being a sexual minority. I also found it surprising that a lesbian mother can lose custody of a child they had while being in a heterosexual marriage and also can be denied adoption. The assumption is that lesbian mothers are not fit because they will not raise the child right and will turn out to be poorly adjusted. This is hard for me to understand that a child would not be allowed into a loving home because of their adopter’s sexuality.
    In chapter 14 I found the section on marital rape to be the most interesting. It was so surprising to me because I have never really heard about this before reading this chapter. Studies have found that there is 7 to 14 percent of marital rape in the general population. I found that extremely high especially because when I look at marriage I assume it to be a loving relationship that is equal. I also thought that the percentage is probably a lot higher because these statistics are what is being reported and if rape is happening in this marriage it is almost assumed that physical abuse it happening as well.

    Reply

  20. Joshua Henry
    Oct 30, 2012 @ 12:19:25

    I agree that in chapter 13 the information related to homosexuality being a mental disorder was rather interesting. The fact that people would consider it to be a disorder is rather absurd. Like the chapter stated, these accusations often resulted in suicidal thoughts amongst homosexuals and even more specifically homosexual women.

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Adam M. Volungis, PhD, LMHC

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 43 other followers

%d bloggers like this: